I awoke to the one sound that never fails to wake me up, the sound of the silence that follows when the timer on my television turns it off at 3 am in the morning. Most people need noise to wake them up but not me, my brain fills with loud disquieting thoughts when there are no background noises for it to focus on.
I look out the window and the dark sky is filled with bright and shiny shimmering objects. There is a planet in view as well as a couple of very bright stars that I presume are manmade satellites, I notice that one of them seems to be slowly moving in my direction.
My black cat Mojo appears out of the darkness of the room and sits down next to me and stares out the window with me although I doubted that he was looking at the stars.
I looked at him and I said “Wouldn’t it be cool if we saw aliens” to him since there was no one else in the house to talk to. He just looked at me with his beautiful shimmering liquid green eyes and then he looked back out the window and so did I. Then I noticed that one of the stars that I thought was a satellite seemed like it was getting a little larger like it was moving in my direction.
I went to the refrigerator and got something to drink and sat back down on the couch and looked out at the stars again. It still seemed like one of them was coming towards me, maybe it was a plane and not a satellite that was turning around in the sky getting ready to land.
I had been visited by aliens in my bedroom many years ago and I told them at that time I was not ready to meet them but I had felt that it was an open ended invitation so after many years and after many things have happened to me I rethought my decision not to meet them so I went out eagerly seeking to find them after the many years passed and I began to realize my place in my friends and family’s lives is not as precious as I once thought it was, in fact I have found that I have no place in their lives anymore at all. Things change sometimes.
I walk out of my house to where I see the light coming from. My mind descends into the abyss of the murky fog that surrounds it, I am looking for the light but it seems to be evading my best efforts to locate it. I keep searching, surely what I want has got to be here somewhere, yet it still eludes me.
Where are you I keep asking myself?
My self does not answer me, so I keep on looking for a sign of why I was brought out here to this place.
Why did you bring me here if you won’t tell me why you want me? I said this out loud.
Still, no answer and it is very quiet here in this place that I do not know. I am surrounded by darkness but I still feel that I am not alone.
Who is here watching me?
They do not answer but I still know that I am not alone because after all I am the one who summoned them in the first place.
Where are they?
They brought me here, at my request perhaps, but they still brought me.
Why aren’t they answering me? What is the purpose of bringing me here if they won’t talk to me? I do not understand.
I walk on a little farther in the darkness and I see a dim light up ahead so I pursue it. When they first offered me the invitation to go with them I was not free to take them up on it but I am now totally unencumbered by anyone’s expectations now so why don’t they show themselves?
I know who they are but I don’t know where they came from or what they want. They only offered to take me away from where I was when they came to me that one time a long time ago, they didn’t tell me what they were offering to take me to and now I want to know where that was.
I keep walking and the light is still dim and far away and I wonder if I am going to make it to where the light is. My body feels heavy, as if something has ahold of it and is dragging it down but I am determined to make it to the light even if it is the last thing I do.
I am almost there and I see figures standing in the darkness of the dim light I have been struggling to get to. Finally I am here.
No, this can’t be, it makes no sense. I am looking at the faces of my dead boyfriend, my mother and my grandfather. Obviously I must be in a dream.
I asked the aliens to take me away and I guess I fell asleep and oh hell, I was just dreaming, at least I think I was dreaming.
I saw the aliens and the aliens is me!