Survival Is The Most Important Thing!

Staying Alive – Eating When Fighting Health Issues

Up until about a year ago I have always loved to eat, loved to eat almost any kind of food (as long as it is cooked well as I a bit of a gourmet cook) and could never understand people not feeling like eating when they were hungry. The only times that eating had been difficult or not that much fun was when I went to dinner at someone’s house and they served spaghetti noodles with tomato sauce on it with no spices or Italian sausage, or whenever I had one of those irritating colds that don’t incapacitate you but seem to last forever and you during the three weeks they always seemed to last there were at least four or five days where you totally can’t taste anything which made it quite a challenge to try and find something spicy enough (yet not so spicy to screw up your digestive tract while being sick) that you could sort of taste it so that you could enjoy eating it at least a little bit. But even when my taste buds were at their worst during a cold I still got hungry so I ate because I was hungry even if the food tasted like chalk, I at least had the memory of what is was supposed to taste like even If I couldn’t taste it. So when I was going through “benzopine” poisoning, from a legal drug prescribed by my doctors for the last twenty five years that I was never warned of the dangers from it until it was too late. What I found on the long road to healing, a road that I still am on, is that while my body wasn’t happy with the dose the drug I was taking its way of getting my attention was to slowly cause my brain to start working poorly and I lost most of my sense of taste and had gone from weighing 120 pounds to weighing 100 pounds over the course of five years without my trying to curtail any drinking or eating of anything with calories. Then once I realized that the legal drug I had been taking for the last twenty five years wasn’t working and was poisoning me, I also found out that it was dehydrating my body and caused me to lose my sense of taste and therefore my desire to eat after several months. First I decided to never take these drugs again but once I quit taking them I found out that even though they weren’t working any more I still had the most incredibly horrible withdrawals to go through. If you are fortunate enough to have a friend or partner to help you I imagine it would be less scary than it was for me since I live alone, no humans but cats and dogs for roommates but I am responsible for their welfare as well as mine so they aren’t helping physically but spiritually, since I got to a point where it was all I could do to drive myself to the store once a week and buy groceries and food for my furry friends. I had to use a shopping cart to walk through the parking lot into the grocery story but I did it. I had to do it because it was do it or die and I wasn’t, and still aren’t, willing to die. Because I had no taste buds the food that I have loved my whole life had very little appeal to me and also because I had very little strength or mental facilities it also made cooking and eating a big struggle. I started to buy the products made for older people that were like “diet drink products” only the opposite end of the spectrum they were the “most calories from chocolate milk” you can get. At my worst point I bought 2 six packs a week of these nutrition drinks and forced myself to eat cereal and a banana every day along with two of the nutritional drinks a day. This was at my very worst total “survival” mode but it did work as I stated alive and was able to manage to feed my pets properly, even if it only consisted of my drinking two of these nutritional drinks a day with my breakfast of cereal and a banana. I did survive and am now adding back easy to cook foods into my diet as my taste buds and brain have started to heal. I also have a friend who has always had marijuana in his life and he gave some to me as often as I needed it and I found that the “munchies” caused by using marijuana that it increased my appetite and made me able to eat the things I needed to eat to stay alive. I am not even close to being totally healed but I find that if I can eat the right things, even if they are only a few things that appeal to me now but will grow as I get better, that I do very slowly get better. So my advice to those of you with these same kind of food issues is go for survival foods first and if there is only one thing you can eat then you should eat it for every meal until you can eat something else. Survival at all costs is the key desire that runs my life right now and I have to believe it will get better but I do know if I am alive it will it will not get better unless I work at making this so, so I always choose life no matter how difficult it may be! If you don’t survive you won’t find out what things are out there waiting for us to discover!

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