What Kind Of God Would Do This?


I apologize to those of you who believe that there is a “God” that looks over everything because if there is I would have to believe in original sin, and I don’t, because I was never given a chance at a normal (and I have a fairly liberal definition of normal) life. I was born with a 50 % chance of inheriting the genetic disease that I have, my mother “really” wanted to have children even though her husband was extremely handicapped by this disease.  She wanted to have children because she “had an unhappy childhood” and she wanted to give her children a better life. WTF? A. If you have a bad childhood what makes you think you are qualified to show someone else a good childhood? (Guess what, she wasn’t and she screwed both of her children up, the one with the handicap and the one without.) B. If you had a bad childhood why would you want to bring children into the world that you were unhappy with? (She never figured that one out even to the day she died at 80 of cancer that she didn’t want to live through because of the guilt she felt for failing both of her children, she told me I was too positive even though I was the one born with the handicap.) If there is a “God”, and I can’t say that there is one or isn’t one, but I just want to know why would he punish innocent children? Give me a good answer and maybe I will change my views but to this day I haven’t ever heard a rational explanation for the cruel and evil things that were done to me and my sister! My mother was so afraid of being alone that she allowed my stepfather to molest me and then my sister when we were young teenagers and only stopped it when I made her after I found out that after the year he had been molesting me, that she knew about and chose not to deal with, that he was molesting my sister and I “made” her stop it.  Her solution was to put locking doors on our bedrooms so we could lock ourselves in our bedrooms at night.  How f***ed up was that as a solution.  The God that I envision would not allow this to happen, so how can you expect me to believe in God?



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